Whose Side Are You On?

This is indeed one of the most important -- and perhaps contentious -- debates in American culture right now. Forget Democrats vs. Republicans, Left-wing vs. Right-wing, creationists vs. evolutionists, Mothra vs. Godzilla -- when the Great Revolution comes, Americans will have to take a stand: Bacon, or Tofu?

As an elitist, enlightened liberal, this decision has the potential to cause me great angst. I've seen documentaries (well, at least one, anyway) depicting a pig slaughter house, and yes, I got kinda teary-eyed -- how cruel! how inhumane! how freakin' delicious! As a highly evolved liberal, I KNOW that tofu is a better choice -- for the planet, for my body, for the poor pigs being slaughtered. I know this, and yet the smell of frying bacon makes me drool like a baby -- if I walk into an IHOP, or Denny's or Perkin's or any neighborhood diner, any resolve I might've had flies out the window.

Don't get me wrong -- I don't hate tofu. In some cuisines, it's preferable to bacon -- I don't want curry with bacon, or pad thai with bacon, or stir-fried vegetables with bacon (although I think I may have just come up with a new idea for a restaurant). I even bought a cookbook a few years ago -- I Can't Believe it's Tofu!. The problem was, I could.

So when the time comes -- when the gauntlet has been thrown down -- I know which side I'll be on -- and it will include a side of pancakes.

P.S. OOps, almost forgot -- bad blogger! -- for you physical types that aren't satisfied with merely discussing this topic, you can act it out with these bendable action figures, available for purchase here
or here.