W-O-M-A-N

Whenever I read books or articles pertaining to women, there's always one big assumption -- that you're a mom. And immediately, even though the article is supposedly about women in general, I feel relegated to some inferior sub-group of "not really completely a woman" women. I have all of the parts that make me female, so I can't be a man (well, I could -- Chaz Bono did it. But that takes lots of money and surgeries and hormones, and I don't really want to have a penis or take dumps with the bathroom door open). And yet, since I haven't had the experience of pregnancy, childbirth, breast-feeding, motherhood -- the whole "most fulfilling experience of my life" shebang -- I'm not really a woman. Perhaps I'm a clever impostor? Perhaps I'm just pretending so I can have an excuse to cry at movies and wear pink clogs and talk about my "monthlies".

If I'm reading books about middle-aged women (which I am, so I am) -- which are usually written by women -- there's a tendency for the author to make statements such as "Having spent the first half of your life tending to the needs of others -- children, husband, family -- it's now time to tend to your own needs". I feel like a selfish bitch. Was that what I was supposed to be doing these past 25 years or so? Oops.

I will never know what it's like to be a mother, or a grandmother. I think I'm o.k with that, as long as I make the next half of my life pretty fucking cool.

I'm in Lima, OH.

I'm off to a good start.