The Holiday Letter That Never Made it to the Post Office

Dear Friends –

So, I decided to take a crack at writing one of these end-of-the-year, catching-up-with-Margie-&-Alan kind of letters. 

Looking at this blank page makes me tired.  Is it 2013 already?!  Where did 2012 go?!  I swear, I was just getting used to it hanging around and it up and leaves me.  Story of my life.

Actually, in the past when I’ve thought about writing one of these letters, I always wanted to write a complete work of fiction, filling the page with unusual adventures – “After a week’s absence back in October, I finally tracked Alan down in Columbus, where he was going by the name of ‘The Hammer’ and living in a house full of sorority girls.  He’s back home now, and we’re working things out” or “The past summer is a blur – particularly July.  I hitch-hiked down to Nogales and got arrested trying to cross back into the States with over $500 worth of Chic-lets and terra-cotta tiles.  The cute little Mexican baby in my back-pack didn’t help matters any.”

I almost feel like just leaving this letter at that.

But I won’t, because that would sort of defeat the purpose of the whole thing.

So, where to begin?  We don’t have kids, so I can’t tell you about all of their first words or first steps or funny things they said or all the awards and honors they got in school. I can’t brag about my grandbabies. But I can tell you about our cat, Sundance – 18 and a half years old and still going strong!  Or our hamster, Peanut Houdini, who makes me smile every day simply by being a hamster.

I can tell you that I really like my job teaching theatre (acting, voice & movement, directing, etc.) at OSU-Lima.  That, though Lima isn’t exactly my idea of heaven, I like the campus and my colleagues and the students.  And that, when I look around, I see nothing but potential everywhere.  I directed my first musical, “Company”, last spring, and was really proud of the cast and crew and the whole production.  I directed “The Jungle Book” this past fall, which was lots of fun – about 2000 kids saw the production, and it was fun to hear them talk about the show as they left.  I haven’t acted in a few years now, which feels a little strange, since for about 20 years, I acted a lot.  Right now, I’m o.k with not being on stage for a bit.  I imagine I’ll get back into again at some point.  Maybe when I get through menopause. (you think I’m kidding?)

Alan did two shows in Columbus this past fall (and no, he didn’t stay in a house full of sorority girls – he stayed with his mom in Lancaster, OH.  At least, that’s the story he told me).  He was in a one-act festival of new plays (which I didn’t get to see) and in a fine production of “To Kill a Mockingbird”, where he played Bob Ewell, the nasty racist.  Alan really relishes those bad-guy roles. 

I can also tell you that, for the first time in my life, I volunteered to work for a political campaign. I probably don’t have to tell you for which candidate. At first, I mostly did data entry – “phone banking” is not my thing (hell, I don’t even call YOU people, and you’re my friends).  Eventually, though, as we got closer to the election, I started canvassing, and it was a really wonderful experience.  You know, when you’re standing on someone’s front porch, neighbor to neighbor, political differences don’t seem to be that big of a deal.  “You’re leaning towards Romney?  O.K, I respect that.  I’ll make sure we take you off our list so we don’t bother you again.  Thanks so much for your time!”  People were almost always nice, even if they were not Obama supporters.  (In reality, very few people I talked to were excited about Romney – some just said “Well, I don’t really care for him that much, but he’s better than Obama”.)  But, this is a holiday letter, so no more politics here.  I’ll only say that it was nice to be even a small part of something so big and so important, and to feel like maybe I helped make a small difference.

Alan and I also started volunteering at the local Humane Society.  We are lucky that 1.) we’re renters and 2.) Sundance hates all other cats and dogs, otherwise we’d probably have a house full of animals.  I “virtually adopted” two cats at the shelter – Bob, who is a tail-less, 8 year old orange tabby who had spent his entire life at the shelter, and Keller, a one-eyed tabby kitten (she had arrived at the shelter completely malnourished, full of fleas, and with infected eyes – they could only save one eye). Both of these cats actually got adopted weeks later!  My latest “adoptions” are Trey, a chubby, black, cross-eyed cat with a beat-up ear, and Terra, a grey tabby with stubby little legs.  I’m hoping the lucky streak will continue, and these two will find homes before long.

What else to tell you?  Oh, we did a little traveling this summer and went to visit friends back east in Pennsylvania and Baltimore (a big shout out to Vicki, David, Abraham, Lisa, JP, Liz, Hannah & Dara, Holly, Joseph, Corey, & Catherine!  Hope I didn’t forget anyone…).  We made a quick little stop in NYC, where we saw “One Man, Two Guv’nors” and “Peter and the Starcatcher” – both excellent productions (though we actually missed the first half hour of “Peter” – since when do Broadway shows start at 7pm?!  Lesson learned – always look closely at your tickets).  We also made a St. Louis trip to visit family and friends, which is always a good time.

Oh – here’s a cool thing!  The Ohio State University has, in the past few years, forged a relationship with The Royal Shakespeare Company in Stratford-upon-Avon.  The RSC has a program called “Stand Up for Shakespeare”, which is geared towards teaching teachers how to get their students excited about Shakespeare.  This program is geared mainly towards primary and middle school teachers, but the work is applicable for students at any level.  A few years back, the RSC came to OSU in Columbus to get the program started here in the states.  A new cohort was formed this year, and I’m part of it!  What does that mean?  It means that I just went to a two day training intensive in Columbus in November, I’ll go for another training intensive in February, and then this summer, we’ll all journey to Stratford-Upon-Avon for a full-week training intensive. I’m so excited I could just spit!  I could go on and on and talk more about this, but I won’t for now.  This letter is long enough!

So there.  There’s probably more I could tell you, but I need to get off the computer and make some cookies or wrap some presents, or watch a few more episodes of “Breaking Bad” (nothing says “Christmas” like watching two guys ruin their lives by cooking/selling meth). 

The last thing I will tell you is that I am so grateful to know you.  I’m not very good about calling people, I know, and for those of you who are phone folks, I apologize. But you can always find me on facebook, or through email.  Let’s hope our paths cross again soon.  Until then, warmest wishes for a Merry Christmas (sorry I missed Hanukkah!), and here’s to a new year filled with peace, love, friendship and good health. 

Mucho love to all --

P.S  Please forgive grammatical/punctuation errors -- it's Christmas! (and I wrote it in a hurry -- just like most student papers :)  )

American Taliban

 "I have seen the enemy, and he is us." (or something like that).  Who originally said that?  I suppose I could look it up...

So, in light of the past few days events -- the anniversary of 9/11, and the rioting/killing of an American diplomat and three others in Libya -- I made the mistake of engaging in a conversation with a conservative friend on facebook.  My "friend" is someone that I really don't know all that well -- we did a show together many moons ago -- but from what I know of him, he is a good guy with a big heart.  I often disagree with his posts, but he generally states his thoughts/opinions very respectfully, and I try to do the same.

His friends, on the other hand, are an entirely different breed.  Before the internet, I really had no idea that such people actually existed.  The following exchange is in response to a post my friend made about 9/11 (you know, the general conservative line about the Obama administration being weak on Islam/Muslims).  The italicized lines are as written by a friend of my conservative friend.  I've deleted his name, obviously.

We need a leader that has a pair of brass balls. We need a leader that is Christian..... We need a leader that is not afraid to call upon the christian soldiers to rise up and fight for god's biding on this earth............. God destroyed on city that was a hot bed of sin... maybe he needs to do the same in Washington DC.. is there not one good man amoung them to save that City ? ?

I then responded:
  
--thanks for demonstrating true Christian virtue. I believe in God -- I believe in a God of love -- I can't believe in a petty creator who is jealous and angry and destroys his creations. And I can't believe in any religion where believers talk about "fighting for god's bidding on this earth" (how does that kind of talk make you any different from radical Muslims?) I've seen religion do much good in the world -- I am not as adamantly against it as my partner {Onion, who is an atheist, had also responded to the post} -- but folks like you remind me all of the time why I just can't be a part of any church. My church is love. If you were truly a Christian, as you claim to be, your doctrine would be love. Just love. Let God take care of the rest. Peace to you.

.....Radical Islamist........sometimes it is necessary to kill off a group of people in order to save lives ....I believe in being a good neighbor an all that goes with it... and also the ten commandants....but when it comes to eye for an eye... I believe in if you toss a rock at me I will drop a house on you.....Back in the day if you miss behaved you were set outside of the camp or the tribe....you had your chance and then you were tossed to the wind.....today there is no moral hazard... just do as you wish and the hell with everything else..... do we really want to live this way ? ? I have given people chances and then I set them outside my camp.... I believe in being strict and swift....We are seeing a problem in the mid-east now because of our weak leadership in this government....we have a leader that is dead set on bringing this country down and is a so called Muslim extremist himself....................................... We live in rough times and in these time it calls for swift action and we have to close the camp or the borders and circle the wagons....we might have to kill our aggressors and I would do so in a heart beat....... now don't give me this holier than thou act like some brainless person that is a good follower and not a good leader..... Christians have fought for human rights and have promoted God's will on earth....for a bunch of years.... and good follower's will do so in the future.... We are in our declining years.. we must set the example for the next group of Christian leader to follow....it must include being strict and demanding respect for the elders and also follow bring the children up an teach respect....Example... children in some case's should be seen but no heard while the adults are having conversation.... speak only when spoken to............................................I could go on with this but I think I have given you enough to go on...I could go into the sins of women in marriage and how these aggressive women in society break up the homes.. the wife and I have been married for 42 years.... so we must be doing something right.... women of today are taught to be aggressive and no listen to their husbands.... there can only be one captain of the ship....and marriage was meant to be a patriarch type house hold... it has worked to 100's of years....when you marry you must take on your roll in the marriage ...just like our parents did and their parents did before.... my parents got married in 1935 and were together till mom passed in 2002.... so do the math.....it is high time to restore the old values and then stop the madness.....Weakness is not a option...action speaks a thousand words.... Love and peace and joy only go so far.... so I don't want to hear your BS on that.... when you start preaching that it shows you have no backbone... so grow and backbone and learn to stand up and let people know wher you draw the line in the sand.  

******************************************
I essentially responded to this by saying that I'm sure he's a fine husband, neighbor and friend, but if he's an example of a modern Christian, then God help us all.

Honestly, how does one respond to this kind of thinking?  How is his thinking (and I'm not saying "actions" -- not yet, anyway) any different from that of the Taliban?  

Let me be clear -- I KNOW that this guy does not speak for all Christians.  I know too many who are loving and kind, and would totally condemn this kind of thinking.  But here's the thing -- this guy is one of MANY.  He's not the first such person I've encountered through this wonderful thing called "facebook" (he's just the scariest -- I'd post his picture, but that wouldn't be right or fair).  So I can't just write this guy off as some looney living back in a cave somewhere. 

He lives right here in Ohio.  Lucky us.

One Big Happy Family

I haven't written here forever -- almost a year. I have a list of things to write about, scribbled on a post-it and stuck on a little cardboard "Fairfield Federal Savings and Loan" desk calendar that Onion's mom insists we take home with us every holiday season. But this writing thing takes time - at least for me. I'm not very quick, and by the time I sit down to write about one topic, 3 or 4 more have cropped up in my head. So, what possessed me to get back on this old blog and spend a few minutes bending your cyber-ears?

The Chick-Fil-A Incident. The Aurora shooting. The Sikh Temple shooting. Yeah, I know...you're probably tired of hearing about all of it. Tired of the debates & discussions that go nowhere. The Olympics are on, for God's sake! Can't we just rally together and watch our athletes kick some international ass and forget about the chicken and guns already?

 I can't. Actually, I literally can't, because for some strange reason DirectTV does not get local channels where we live (and "rabbit ears" antenna doesn't work -- we tried). Ofcourse, I read about what's going on online, and Onion keeps me informed (he's currently at his mom's -- he said he went to check in on her -- she's 88 and lives alone -- but I think he went because he knew he could watch the Olympics there), but I'm finding I just can't get too excited about the Olympics this time around. I know the athletes are amazing and inspiring (though somehow, sitting on the couch watching them perform amazing feats of strength, flexibility and power only makes me feel more like a slug than I usually do). I know it's good for us as a country to "come together" to cheer on our "team", but somehow it all just feels like a diversion to me. Like a desperate family vacation where we all drive off in a station wagon, determined to have fun and be a happy family, when in fact mom & dad are on the verge of divorce over dad's indiscretion with the babysitter, and Jr.'s bookmarking neo-nazi websites on his computer.

 A lot of people seem to be holding on to their guns and bibles with sweaty, fearful fists.

We can't have any kind of real discussion about guns because it automatically turns into cries of "an armed populace is the only protection against tyranny!" You can almost hear the furtive whispers around the sturdy wooden table by the hearth, where the men drink mead from steins and and stockpile weaponry,ready to grab their tri-corn hats and their muskets at a moments notice and ride into the night, crying "Freedom from tyranny!". Some people seem to live in hope of another revolutionary war, or civil war -- to die fighting for freedom! and liberty! (of course, these folks could also enlist right now, and possibly have that great honor). World War II was probably the last war that we really HAD to fight, and God knows the men and women who did performed a great and honorable service for our country and for the world. I also admire and respect any person who has fought in any of our subsequent wars, as unnecessary or as suspect as these wars may have been/might be -- I am not about to disrespect some young man or woman who wants to perform a service for their country and believes the military is the best way to do so. But as long as we as a culture continue to glorify war (and violence in general) -- as long as we insist that "might equals right" and we are indeed the Mightiest -- we're going to continue to have gun violence. Angry and alienated white guys (who are responsible for the vast majority of mass shootings) are going to continue to grab their guns and fight against their own brand of "tyranny" with a blaze of bullets.

We can't have any kind of real discussion about marriage equality because it turns into cries of "you're trampling on my religious freedom!". I was "eavesdropping" today on a facebook conversation between a friend of mine (very liberal) and one of his friends (seemingly not so liberal. Note: sometimes the newsfeed thing on facebook makes me feel a little like Harriet the Spy). The not-so-liberal friend of a friend seemed like a very nice young woman who was respectfully and earnestly trying to explain that she didn't hate homosexuals, but she follows the bible and the bible clearly says that homosexuality is an abomination. She also actually said that she didn't want to live in a secular democracy -- she wanted to live in a democracy as the "founding fathers intended" (which seemed to mean to her a democracy guided by the Christian bible). So essentially, she wants to live in a theocracy -- (but a Christian theocracy, not one of those evil Islamic theocracies). And because she -- and all of those like her -- insist on cherry-picking passages from an old, silly book (because yes, there are some lovely passages in the bible -- some truly inspirational ones -- but there's also a lot of silliness. It was written by men. Sometimes I think some parts could have been written by Monty Python) and demanding that we ALL respect certain particularly silly parts of this sometimes-inspirational book, gay folks cannot legally marry. Christians -- who are the majority -- are crying about THEIR rights? Oh please, cry me a river.

 I generally don't refer to those who are against marriage equality as "haters" -- I really don't think they "hate" homosexuals. At least, most of them don't. I think they're probably mostly very nice people who live very narrowly defined lives -- often defined by their churches and the bible and what the like-minded people around them expect them to do and be. They strive to be "normal", not really knowing what that means, and anything that falls outside of their very narrow frame of reference scares the shit out of them. They don't "get it", and that makes many of them feel angry and stupid and then really angry. And then scared that the world is changing, and they don't like it. We all get scared about stuff -- that's human. But two people of the same sex loving each other and wanting to spend their lives together? I just don't get what's so scary about that.

Frankly, marriage equality shouldn't even be a discussion -- it should just be a right. There is no valid "other side". No one is suggesting that churches must marry gay couples -- churches can go on preaching that it's a sin until the end of time if they want. No one is suggesting that Christians must personally support homosexuality (new law: all Christians must attend at least one gay wedding per year). But Christians should NOT have the right to block two consenting adults from LEGALLY marrying simply because it goes against THEIR religious beliefs. Marriage is not just a spiritual contract (and indeed, it doesn't have to be a spiritual contract to be valid) -- it is a legal contract as well. It is a legal contract primarily. It need not involve a church, or religion, at all.

 So we have one group of decent human beings who are scared, and holding on to their bibles and guns for security. And another bunch of us decent human beings who are trying to "talk these folks down", and not having a whole lotta luck. And in the meantime, we have some American Olympians kicking some ass, and Curiosity landing on Mars, and plenty of other stuff to occupy our hearts and minds. Which is great. But one of these days, the vacation is going to end, and we're going to have struggle our way through our differences. Through our fear.

 I just hope it's not during the Winter Olympics. I hope by that point to be getting local channels, and I love watching the figure skaters.